Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize