ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
