I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
