I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
