Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
