please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
