this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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