i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
