just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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