I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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