those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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