Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
