...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
