i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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