Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
