now i know why i became what i already was.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
