What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I smell stomach acid.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
