C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
