My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
