Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize