the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
