I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
