If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
