Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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