No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
