I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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