This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
