Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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