May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So much rum. So many feels.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
