I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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