I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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