At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You did what with his pubic hair?
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