Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
