dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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