whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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