it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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