is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
