could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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