A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
