mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
