I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
