She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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