I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
