This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
