My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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