Tell her she can't have a vagina
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
