i just had sex bonerless
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
