Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
