We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
