Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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