ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
