I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
