i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize