i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
